OSU made no plays on defense last week, again. My good, honorable, and valiant opponent in the Whiskey Cup, Trent M., made no picks, and ceded victory for the year to yours truly. I get it: it ain’t much fun writing picks when our beloved Pokes look liked a picked-over piece of roadkill. I keep doing it perhaps as a sickness, having done so every year but one since 2012. That’s eleven out of the past twelve years for those counting that I’ve been devoting part of every single week to trying to tell the future of a bunch of young idiots running around in football pads helmets and short pants generally speaking in the middle of the country. You have to put your time in somewhere!
Trent finished out the year six games back with a record of 52-33 (.611). As crazy as the league has been, I think that’s pretty good. Thus far I’ve been ahead of that pace mostly I think as a result of the luck of the coin flip.
For what it’s worth, I just got through watching the recent horror film In a Violent Nature with L. The main character of the film goes around killing people in the most entertainingly abject of ways; he may be the guiding force of the OSU Cowboys in a year that has seen the Pokes average something close to no-yards-a-carry with the returning best running back in the country and also seen its head coach once again make comments worth apologizing for to the media. I’m not gonna link the comments because they were so stupid as to be unmentionable, though I will mention that as a lifelong 25-year Pokes fan I am currently able to pay my own bills. (Thanks for the encouragement, Mike. Maybe fix your run-blocking scheme?)
Personally, I wondered—considering that the interview took place on Monday—maybe MG had a case of the election day stresses.
Last week: 3-2 (.600)
Overall: 61-29 (.677)
West Virginia 27, Cincinnati 30. Two of Cincy’s three victories against WVU in the past twenty years occurred when a fellow named Chip Kelly was the Bearcats’ head coach. The Mountaineers own a 17-3 all-time advantage over the spaghetti-accursed chili eaters, but I think Scott Satterfield’s bunch—which is 3-1 at home this year—will prevail.
No. 17 Iowa State 20, Kansas 24. ISU fucked up last week against Texas Tech, dropping their first game of the season against the Red Raiders by a single point. Why do I have a feeling they will drop another one against the Jayhawks? I just do. Also, as an aside, with Bedlam passing away, this is has become one of the game’s longest running rivalries: the Cyclones have faced off against the Rock Chalk contingent every single year going back to 1928. So this, bearing in mind they first faced each other all the way back in 1898, is number 96 in a row. KU owns the all-time advantage 52-45-6.
No. 20 Colorado 37, Texas Tech 35. I foresee another close one for Tech, though I think the Buffs rumble away with the victory. The two teams are 5-5 against each other, with the last meeting involving two head coaches named Dan Hawkins and Tommy Tuberville. Tommy fucking Tuberville. Remember that asshole?
UCF 34, Arizona State 31. UCF may be 4-5, but I think the Knights are better than their record. ASU is in the midst of a huge uplift of a year, but I think that their victory against the Pokes last weekend—however good it might feel and however much it might be worth—had a lot to do with how feeble the Cowboys are right now.
Oklahoma State 37, TCU 33. I think that the Pokes are going to get back on track here. Should I think that? Probably not. I did correctly pick OSU to lose to the Sundevils last week, so I don’t do this merely as a homer. Even if I think Mike Gundy may be losing his edge, I’m also aware that I’ve thought that at least 3-5 other times in his tenure, and every time in the past he’s had an answer. Finally playing Maealiuaki Smith might be that answer. I bet he starts on Saturday night, and I bet the Pokes figure something out. These two did not play each other last year; OSU owns a 17-14 all-time edge against the Toadfrogs.
No. 9 BYU 34, Utah 33. This, with Bedlam permanently delayed and the Red River Shootout having traveled parts south and east, is now the Big 12’s biggest and meanest football rivalry game (sorry, Farmageddon and Sunflower folks). Both teams own a winstreak of nine-in-a-row against each other. Aside from a gap between 1942-1946, they’ve played almost every year going back to 1922. These guys hate each other, and though I know pretty much everyone in both crowds will be sober, I can’t wait to watch a night game matchup of the Holy War tomorrow night, its first iteration as a Big 12 Conference game.